Beating the Blues with Faux Shopping

Oh no...It’s that time of year. The big three have ended (Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s), college football is over (additional reasons to eat and drink poorly) and now the New Year resolutions begin...

Eat healthier, exercise more, worry less, read more books, love more and so on. And then there's that one resolution we women make. The scary one that we sometimes say, but never mean.

Resolving to shop less...or sometimes not at all for an entire month.

Oh sure, I have tried this no shopping in January thing several times, and all attempts failed. A month of no shopping seems doable in the bright fresh light of January 1.  You feel strong, like you can conquer the world, and no shopping for 31 days should be a piece of cake (don't eat that, though. You might be breaking resolution #1.)

But then there are the sales...the continual influx of emails telling you about the 50% off, must buy, going fast. At first I am strong. “Delete without looking,”  I tell myself. “Don’t look at the body of the email.”

“Net-a-Porter additional markdowns,” one email taunts me. Net-a-Porter, little beautiful black box shop? I must at least check this out. And then, like holding plank pose, one knee drops, and then the other, and next thing you know you have five different sites up exploring the end of year sales. The seal is broken, and the once apparent strength to not shop has subsided.

Oh, there are those white lies you can tell yourself. Like, if I use PayPal instead of a credit card, it doesn't count. Because the mere action of reaching for your wallet instills guilt in your soul, and foreshadows a broken resolution. 

One year, I had a bright idea. NOTE: The idea you are about to read is not recommended by physicians. I made a deal with myself that I had to lose those nagging 10 pounds before I could begin shopping in the New Year. That would give my pocketbook time to heal from Christmas shopping and sales, and also help with the fit of my clothes. Win-win, right? I knew I could hit those 10 pounds in 2 weeks. I was so confident, that on my trip WHILE in India, I purchased a sweet little pair of Lanvin heels. They would arrive 2 days after I landed back in the States, and I was confident that this Delhi-belly would get me to that 10 pound goal. Low and behold, the one time you actually want a stomach bug you escape the wrath. So, I ended up home, having broken my resolution yet again.

So how do you keep a New Year resolution to not shop? Creativity, my dear.

If you are among those that made the unenviable resolution not to shop this month, here are 10 ways to beat the January blues with Faux Shopping.

1.     Shoe Ghosting – you go on a website, pursue and add to shopping bag. At the last moment, you close out and walk away.

2.     Speed Shoe Dating – head to Nordstrom Rack or DSW and try on multiple shoes for a couple of minutes, and then walk out somewhat fulfilled.

3.     Sister Sharing – find a girlfriend with a similar size shoe, and go over to her place to try on shoes that will be new to you.

4.     Ebay Browsing – online shop on ebay, and find a pair of shoes that you know you will end up the lowest bidder.

5.     Internet Hiatus ­– don’t look at any shoe store email ads online for a month. Stay far away from Pinterest.

6.     Hibernate – yes, for the entire month. No shoe shopping is hard stuff.

7.     Shoe Show – kill two birds with one stone here by taking all your shoes out of the closet, trying them all on, and then really thinking about what you holes you may have in your closet (no buying yet).

8.     Shoe Love – after #6, you will notice that you have been neglecting certain shoes at the back of the closet. Take those lavender suede ballet flats out and find opportunities to wear.

9.     Make a Deal – make a deal/goal with yourself if you can go 31 days without shopping that a strappy pump awaits you on February 1.

And last, but not least…

10. Inflict Pain – put on your most uncomfortable pair of shoes and go grocery shopping in the kale section of a grocery store. You will come home temporarily pained from the shoes and fighting over kale with January juicers.